Why You Should Call Three Funeral Homes Before Making a Decision

I have been a funeral director for almost four years now. It still amazes me when a family comes in after their mother or father passed away, and they have no idea what the deceased wanted for a funeral. Usually that family also has trouble finding which bank their parents used, whether or not they had a life insurance policy, if they had a cemetery plot, etc. I think the problem is that the funeral industry is looked at as a cold, scary place. It is hard to think about what is going to happen after you die and for some people, it is a scary process to make pre-arrangements. For that reason, I want to walk you through a typical pre-arrangement and hopefully by the end of this blog you will feel more prepared and a little more at ease when it comes to making that first appointment. Gathering of Information The primary purpose of making pre-arrangements is to get all of your information down. There are plenty of times that a family comes in after a loved one has passed away and they can’t find the social security number or they don’t know if the person earned their associates degree or bachelors degree. When we sit down for a pre-arrangement, the first part is getting the vital information. This information includes: full name, social security number, address, date of birth, place of birth, highest level of education, father’s name, mother’s name including her maiden name, occupation, veterans information, spouses information, and next of kin. As you can see, most of that information is easy to write down for yourself, but could you answer all of those questions about your mother or father? Would you know all of that off the top of your head? Most people have to dig through paperwork or make a few phone calls in order to find that info, which is why gathering that ahead of time is a huge relief for your family. Planning The Funeral The next segment of a pre-arrangement is the part people get nervous about. I usually start with, “Now that we have all of the information down, let’s talk about your funeral. What do you envision happening after you pass away?” Some people have a general idea of what type of funeral they would like, some lay out every detail of the funeral, and some give me a blank stare. For the people who haven’t thought much about their own funeral, I start to prompt with questions such as: Do you want to have visiting hours with the casket open? Do you want to have a church service or a service at the funeral home? Is cremation something you have thought about? What is going to happen with your remains after the services? is there a burial, scattering, or is a family member going to take your cremains home? These questions give me a sense of direction in order to get to the details of what type of services the person wants. At this point, we have the backbone of what the funeral is going to entail, and that alone will relieve stress for the family when the time comes. There are plenty of people who will stop at this point and say that their family can choose the rest of the details. That is completely okay, but I will say that the more details you have down, the more your family can focus on each other and taking care of their own feelings rather than worrying about getting all the arrangements finalized. Some extra details that can be beneficial to have down in your pre-arrangements are as follows: Type of casket/color of casket Type of vault Type of urn Writing an obituary template Choosing a prayer for the prayer card Picking songs and readings for the service Picking the types of flowers you prefer Choosing an outfit Suggesting a memorial to make donations Purchasing the burial plot Putting extra money away for the luncheon Pre-Payment Options The final step of making a pre-arrangement is going over the price of all the chosen funeral goods and services. I walk you through each price on the list and give you a total price of the funeral. At this point I answer any questions and make changes if necessary. I never pressure anyone to pre-pay for a funeral, but I do want the person to think about how their family would pay for these services at the time of death. If you have life insurance, I typically will write down the company and policy number in our file so that your family doesn’t have to search for that information later. At the time of death, life-insurance assignments can be made to the funeral home in order to pay for the funeral. I will also walk through the benefits of pre-paying for a funeral. At this moment, we have two options for pre-paying a funeral. The first is through a trust at Northwest Bank. Checks that are written for a pre-arrangement are sent to Northwest Bank and placed into an irrevocable funeral trust. This means that no one is able to take that money out until the time of death, we cannot touch it, the government cannot touch it, nursing homes cannot touch it, and other family members cannot touch it. The other option is through Loyal Christian Benefits Association (LCBA). This method of pre-payment is through an insurance company. Depending on your age, health, and personal preference we can place the money into an annuity or a life insurance policy. This option also allows payments to be made over time and LCBA products are irrevocably assigned to the funeral home which has the same benefits as the irrevocable funeral trust. There aren’t too many funeral homes that still guarantee the funeral when it is pre-paid, but we still honor that policy. Let’s say that the funeral was $10,000 and you wrote a check for that amount. As time goes on, inflation will increase the price of that same funeral. Guaranteeing the funeral means that we are hoping that the interest that is generated from the trust will cover inflation over time. Let’s say that the amount in the trust at the time of death does not cover the funeral, we will never ask the family for more money, we take the loss. Now, if the family at the time of death makes changes, such as adding a limo or something that was not on the original contract, that would be the only time we ask the family for additional money. Like I said, pre-payment is not a necessary step to making pre-arrangements, but it is definitely beneficial for the family. Taking That First Step My hope is that while reading this blog, you have become a little less hesitant when it comes to making your own pre-arrangements. Typically the entire meeting does not last more than an hour and if it goes longer, it’s because we are chitchatting about something happening in life. I cannot emphasize it enough, putting your information down and giving your family some sort of direction is so important. Even by the end of this, if you are still uncomfortable meeting face-to-face for whatever reason, I would be more than happy to gather information through email, over the phone, or I can send you a pre-arrangement packet that allows you to write down all of the information on your own time. I am always here to help. Contact information: Adrienne Kloecker-Kalivoda Cell: 814-431-3492 Office: 814-454-0156 Email: akloecker11@yahoo.com God Bless and Stay Safe, Adrienne Kloecker-Kalivoda Bringing a New Face to the Funeral Business